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Summary of July 19, 2015
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Dear Folks -
Last Sunday was the second Sunday I have been absent from Ordinary Life, and I miss the honor of being able to stand in front of you and speak. Once again, though, Roddy Young, LCSW, therapist, friend, and long time member of Ordinary Life, spoke to you in my absence, and his topic was
"Imago Relationship Theory and Therapy: Insights and Techniques For Thriving in a Relational Cosmos, Part 2"
Roddy began the second talk of his series with a review of the way in which the unconscious plays a major role in our relationships, both in the initial phases of attraction and the second phase of disillusionment and frustration. We saw again how unmet needs and repressive socialization create the person that is us, especially as we act and react in a relationship.
Roddy continued his talk with an explanation of the Imago match, that combination of traits with our partner that causes us to project and provoke in order to get what we want, or what we think we deserve. If you listen to the audio, Roddy provided several very humorous examples of the things we do in relationships.
We learned about two basic character types: The "Minimizers", who are under-involved in a relationship, and the "Maximizers", those who let their feelings out, and often exaggerate needs.
Roddy then delved into the basis of Imago therapy. It consists of two parts: To finish childhood through a committed partnership with a person who reminds us of unmet needs, and to cooperate with our unconscious by creating a conscious committed partnership in which the couple intentionally meets each other's unmet childhood needs.
Roddy closed his presentation with a handout, giving Ordinary Life members an opportunity to look at their own unmet needs, and an invitation to return next week to explore what people have written about themselves.
Roddy spoke extemporaneously; hence, there is no accompanying text this week. However, the presentation slides and audio version of the talk can be found on the Ordinary Life website.
To listen to the audio of the talk, use the link below