We are in a disorienting time. I am aware that anything I write will inadequately capture the complexity of our individual and collective feelings around the most recent events sparked by the killing of George Floyd. Protests are the means of the unheard, a tool for bringing attention to an issue, in this case the continued killing of unarmed black men and women without accountability. The protests, however, do not need our criticism and attention as much as the repeated incidents that lead to them. The protests are a symptom of something much larger.
Words I have heard that might apply to all that is going on:
Heartsick
Grief
Angry
Exhausted
Hopeless
Confused
Decentered
Overwhelmed
There are more, and they may all be swimming around at once. I think the invitation here is to lean into the emotions, however uncomfortable, one at a time. As they get peeled back and we begin to feel discomfort, it’s an opportunity to examine and go deeper, not distract and dismiss. This is hard for many of us. We are so tempted by the quick fixes and rapid recovery. I say specifically to my white friends and colleagues, there is no quick fix to a 400 plus year old disease, and racism is a disease.
Two things really struck me in the last few days, from a friend’s Instagram post and from the Jung Center. Both messages are similar. If we get trapped in guilt, shame, or powerlessness, we remain immobilized and we center ourselves in the story. It is good and well to acknowledge and experience these emotions, but to stay there furthers isolation. If we lean into grief, we might be able to place ourselves in community and grow empathy.
Grief derives from gravis which means “weighty, heavy.” If we allow ourselves to feel the weight of this feeling, we might be able to touch the edges of what historically oppressed people have felt for generations. Transforming grief is an alchemical process, one that requires deconstructing one element in order to create new ones. It requires attention and intention, never carelessness.
I shared this exchange on the Ordinary Life Facebook page recently:
“What specifically do you pray?
What do your prayers of lament, desire, despair sound like?”
“That is a beautiful question.
The action of lament and grief, the sound of a wail is my prayer right now.”
Invite the deep grief, for it is a symptom of deep love. We cannot feel one without the other.
If you are looking for resources, for ways to learn and listen, I’ve seen lists like this circulating around the annals of social media. His blog is thoughtful and worth reading.
https://www.orenjaysofer.com/blog/racial-justice
It is our souls that need healing. What a beautiful, mysterious, and challenging invitation that could also be the most fruitful thing we do with our lives.