Freedom | by Holly Hudley

Martin Luther King, Jr, or possibly Fannie Lou Hamer said it first: “No one is free until we are all free.”

Philosophically I 100% agree. I identify as a pacifist and have never advocated for war. I certainly don’t support slavery and work actively in anti-human-trafficking efforts in and around Houston. I also buy items from Target which are made in some countries with no child labor laws, in effect made by indentured workers. So I am complicit, too. Also, if anyone were to harm my children, I am pretty sure I house a rogue momma bear inside. 

I was faced with my ideals in a more intense way these last weeks with the abolition movement to rid cities and states of police forces and jails. I realized I didn’t have enough information to make an informed opinion, yet another layer of doing a deep dive into what do I mean by abolition and who do I mean when I say all are free? 

Freedom (n.): “power of self-determination, state of free will; emancipation from slavery, deliverance.”

Who is free in our country? Is freedom strictly an inside job or does it also require us to imagine systems where one has the most possibility for achieving said interior freedom? I think there needs to be a balance of structural and personal freedom to define it on a collective, societal level. That said, I love the books by Jarvis Jay Masters, a Buddhist who is on death row in San Quentin Prison. He claims his spirit to be free though his body is behind bars. This seems an incredible accomplishment. 

As I continued on my path of teaching, I solidified my belief that stronger school and community systems were prohibitive to incarceration. I received training in and helped implement restorative discipline measures in several schools. I have seen kids’ lives turned upside down by having family or peers involved in the criminal justice system. When I watched the documentary Thirteenth, it helped me put an even stronger frame around my thinking — 70% of people in jail have not even been convicted of a crime and many can’t afford bail or decent legal representation. They remain there because of poverty. Private prisons have become an investment strategy. In other words they are businesses whose capital gains rely on cells being filled. If I believe whole heartedly in restorative models in schools, why can’t that model extend to those identified as criminals? Restoration does not mean no accountability. It actually requires directly dealing with the crime in meaningful ways that allow for personal responsibility to take place. 

I don’t have a grand t-shirt collection like Bill, but I have one I love from the Equal Justice Inititiative (EJI) in Montgomery, Alabama. The white letters against black cotton read: Each of us is more than the worst thing we’ve ever done. I believe in the veracity of this quote. 

I understand the fear associated with the kind of thinking I am putting forth. What about killers, like the man who kneeled on George Floyd’s neck for nearly 9 minutes. Where does he belong? I’ve also witnessed individuals who have built relationships and even worked with the murderer of a family member. I am in awe of this kind of grace. I don’t know if I could extend it, yet I say I am a pacifist. How far am I willing to go? 

My hopeful self believes that if we invested public money on better communities, resources, schools, and mental health facilities, our dependence on jails would decrease dramatically. 

As for abolishing the police...I don’t yet know how I feel. I have a benign attitude toward the police, which is my privilege to say. I neither revere nor fear them. That is not the case for many communities. I watched a video taken by a home security camera of a little black boy playing basketball, probably about one of my son’s age, 9 or 10. He was in the driveway of his home, dribbling. You see him look at something off camera and stop mid dribble. He goes quickly, then, and hides behind the car in the driveway. We see come into view a police cruiser idling down the street. When it passes, the little boy resumes his game. So reflexive it is in some bodies to fear the police, to doubt that they are there for their well being, a reality proven time and again in the regular killing of unarmed black men and women. I can completely understand the desire to abolish a legal system you don’t feel protected by. 

Police are equipped with military grade weapons and tactics, including tear gas and grenades. In 1925, after WWI, tear gas* was banned by the Geneva Protocol because of the damage it caused...and yet police can use it on their own citizens. If the police system is abolished, we have to go deeper still. We have to look at how deeply we invest in weapons, in how firmly we protect the right for citizens to bear arms. If we abolish the police, who will we call to respond to mass shootings, which are so often carried out by delusional white men? Abolishing the police does not take weapons out of the equation. Far too many citizens have access to them. Currently I am more comfortable with reforming the police as well as where money is diverted, but thus far, that has not brought about desired changes. So what you read here, is my groping with an idea, with imagining different ways of being part of creating an equitable society where safety is not based on racial privilege. I have yet to reach a conclusion, but I am in process with my own blocks and biases. 

I say I am a pacifist. 

I say I am an abolitionist. 

I am still working on my commitment to both. 

Sculpture on the grounds of the EJI Memorial for Peace and Justice. Artist: Hank Willis Thomas.

Sculpture on the grounds of the EJI Memorial for Peace and Justice. Artist: Hank Willis Thomas.